random thoughts, as always

may my hair be so long
it can pierce you to the bone.

reflections uncomplete

who knows me best? do i?
i wake up thinking yes. i know myself better than anyone because no one rly knows me inside out.
i fall asleep thinking there are people who know me better than myself.

sorry can be the yes, most hurtful word. (hit me from the 'sad sad sad!' show)
but i haven rly experienced it.
and sometimes there are things that are so hard to do. but yet you think of nothing but doing it because well, it's the only thing to do.

the child wandered led into the tall towering
forbidding
forest. she learnt more than anyone else
yet she stayed. because no one else would be able to understand her knowledge,
for they have not been there
for they have not done there
for they have not seen there
?

the soft glowing skin. white, so white and blue and clean. glowing, glowing,
laying in the hearse of many colours.

now. why?
you have never made things clear.
now that i think of it, yes
you have never made things clear.

i want you to forget me forever
because i aint sure that's the true me
or the one that has been blinded by you.
with a soft veil over my eyes
gently caressed by you.
now thrown back by the harsh enigma
i want. to know.
i have the right to.
but due to the differences, i cant.

life goes on. what are the things that matter?
who matters?

shit. i need to know.

nothing to hold on except differences.
i will never let you come back. no.

i dont want to think about that? i dont want to think about that? for once, shit, make things clear. i need to have things clear. i let every unclear things slip by alrdy, and now i'm turning around in circles. got me like a fool. every moment i feel like a fool.
i am a fool.
let go!