shit i'm just getting so temperamental these days. thursday was lonely and alienated at times. it's always the same.. but never mind. today was, i dont know, just not gd. i'm temperamental temperamental temperamental i'm fighting back my tears now i dont know why i havent gotten the urge to cry for more than a week fuck, what's the problem? i cant be possibly having pms can i i missed my period (happily expected) but i'm just not feeling okay.

no one seems to understand (sounds so cliched but) i'm trying to not to disappoint but i dont wna explain anymore it's so tiring to try to make anyone understand. all i have now is just one who is willing to just stay there and listen without any expectations of me. thanks matey.

fk it's just a simple one sentence why does it affect me so much? i aint even sure it's referring to me.. but why the hell mention it? it's totally over dont refer to it anymore dont use it like it's still not broken up. aww screw everything i gta clear my eyes before my sis comes back.

on another note i'm also freaking frustrated by studies i realised if i asked most teachers wld say i dont pay attention in class but most of the time i seem like i'm not paying attention but i'm listening okay? it doesn't mean i dont look atttentive means i'm stoning or such. i'm picking myself back on track but still it aint enough and i'm doing all these never for me

it's dark alrdy it always is when i think it's still light

asked ms lam and she said do tys refer to tb when you need to find the answer dont waste your time reading the textbook get into small study grp and be focused. i took a while to figure out her fantastically shortened msg lol. it did help me some(: got a bit direction le. smsed mr lam asking him what he thinks i shld do to improve chi etc but he hasn't reply did i get the correct no.? i typed in chi somemore loh, so taxing.

alright i dont feel like dealing with anything now my life now seems so blur and with no direction i'm just spinning around like nothing. what am i doing? i dont even know. shit i need some direction in my life.