a break.

maybe that's what i need, yeah? maybe he needs it too. well. im jus tired of feeling lonely, knowing he broke his promise again though i know he would break it. he's not that kind of person that wld keep those type of promises. i dont expect him to. but well, maybe it's jus too much. i dont wna always be the person to go after him, i feel like lilian. haha. i wna give him his freedom. but i jus hope he wont forget me.

maybe it's pms talking. HA.

i completated a break up yesterday. tried imagining life w/o him. scared the hell out of ant. then went to sleep, thinking, alone. woke up, was so groggy i didnt bring my hp along.

perhaps that was a good thing to happen. i went thrgh life before him, life w/o him. it was alright, there still was pple accompanying me, ant. we went pp,, i cried in the morng for nothing ha but well ant reminded me that was such thing as a break, not neccessary a break up. so maybe, i want a break. that wld let us both know how life w/o each other is like, yeah?

came back to 9 missed calls and 10 msgs. 2 calls were from him and 5 msg. he was under the assumption i was asleep.

he called jus now. i didnt answer. i didnt reply.

im in the middle of watchin madagascar.

oh. he jus smsed, i think.

nah, it was moon. i guess i'll tell her, but it jus gives me the feeling that,

I LOST BOTH THE CLOSEST TO ME.

oh fuck.

i told ant abt the break up idea first, not her. when she asks what happened, i said nothing. that she said sure? i replied, nah. then i added nothing, yet. do i have the feeling i dont wna tell her things now?

oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn