jus had a rather therapeutic bath, first with the hottest the water cld go, then without the heater. it's been a long time since i've bathed with the heater. so hot goosebumps appeared and im wondering why, so cold goosebumps appeared too. feel the slimy conditioner slither down from my hair to my body. i wish i cld soak in a hot water bathtub, i crave that.
i dont know what im supposed to think now, and i dont know whats the matter with me. one time i seem alright, i even tell myself and the others happily that i think it's okay now, but then now it comes to haunt me again. maybe it's cause im lonely, but i dont know it cos i dont even feel lonely? or maybe it's pms. haha. mushrooms, you know the image of JR keeps staying in my mind, i dont know why! although i love my wild imagination, maybe sometimes it aint that great. someone i blocked in msn signed in, and his name rang so true with what's happening now my heart rly hurt. no wonder, cliches aint cliches without a good reason. words can describe feelings well sometimes, like that phrase, but there's so much more to it. pile everything on top, and it wldnt be easy to use words. yeah.
so what's the problem with me? i wont type it out here. it's just about JR alright? J stands for you-know-what and i guess you guys can guess what the R is then. haha. i hope it aint obvious, im not proud of it okay. i've already declared im evil! but i rly cant control it. i know it, and you guys have told me too, let time pass. but im writing cos i feel like it, okay. haha. i cant figure out what a big fuss blogs are all about, i write everything mostly for me, i guess im half a writer then. writing somehow kind of lets me faxie and sometimes it helps to organise my mind too. so i shall say in advance, what i've written in the past, what i write now, and what i'll write in the future aint meant for anyone unless i state so. so if it offends you or whatsoever, so be it.
anyway, back to the matter of JR. i dont know what to think of it anymore, tmr i'll see JR again. i can imagine moon saying, then dont look! but i still want to.
break: pleasant surprise from clarence toh! weird, im so closely linked. ohmy. still halfbelieving it. haha. you go,
okay back. see, i told you writing is good, cos i dont seem to be thinking about it again. i suspect it'll come and haunt me tmr again. and i dont know if im like ant, whose problems will be gone in the night and back in the day. my face has become worse thanks to sleeping late yesterday, that's like, too fast! ugh it's bad enough as it is.
JR is shelved in my mind for the moment.
do you even care?
another one is my TP. if you dont know what it is, rmb my two letters and the other one besides JR is this, or the smses ytd. im not liking this one bit. i think im a stubborn mule. haha i alrdy know that actually. i jus dont wna repair or built it , , i know it's not good. kind hearts like ant will tell me not to be like this, and peace lovers like moon will tell me not to too. haha. oh ya! here is my theory on why ant is so prone to falling, her heart is so big it raises her centre of gravity! haha she nearly fell at least 5 times during badminton today. and she fell a few times too. badminton was very very fun! though my muscles are aching when it's coupled with karate.
like today, i feel a tug at my heart, to yeah try. but as i said, stubborn mule and my heart remains closed.
this is my today's work. while others are mugging and studying, i've decided to take this day to relax and blog. ha. i think my piano teacher's rly nice. i think the world's fair too. what's unfair to you, might be unfair to others, and when you have bad, you have good too. so in the end, it's still fair. cause if everything goes well, the words fair and unfair wldnt be coined, wld they?
and so it ends,
the date is the twentytwo of sept, and it is tentwentyseven now.
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im sry, i dont wish to talk now. but you must know i do want to.
pierced many times.
dont ask okay? i know you will
i wld too, if it was me.
but still, rmb
i love you